THIS ENTRY OFFICIALLY OPENS UP SPAMMER TIME

 

HIT ME! (not literally!)

my left leg is fucking asleep.

 

 

THIS IS NECESSARY FOR YOU TO KNOW BECAUSE I AM AWESOME

 

(not really, but i don't go around crushing your dreams by stating what you deny okay)

 

p.s. i'm updating this 'cause i felt like it. LOL SUP GUYS

 

(and I still really love my owl picture)

Uh. Hey guys. :D

 

Don't really hang here no more. You can catch me on MSN, though, if you want. ashirabe@aol.com

I haven't been doing shit. Ever have those weeks? Happened to me.

Well, I have an excuse: sickness. Blech. ON TOP of a fuckin' toothache. Yeah. I get this cavity pulled on Tuesday. I hope they shoot me up with a lotta novacaine and laughing gas. Then I gotta see an orthodontist (sp?) to see if there's any way to move up my teeth so we can replace the pulled tooth with my wisdom tooth. If not, we're looking at fakes when I turn 18 (when my jaw primarily stops growth).


... And this is all really fascinating to you all, huh. (RHETORICAL QUESTION... er. statement?)

Do-do-do... getting my ears pierced a second time tomorrow. And, hum.. losing weight. Kinda. I dunno. Either I'm magical or our scale is broken, 'cause yesterday apparently I was 140 and now I'm 136. Weird.

Mmmm.. nervous about lacrosse starting up (imma virgin to this game, man). And I feel like I have no support from my family to do it. I mean, I told my mom I wanted to try and she was like, "Oh.... hum. Well.. good for you. *cheap smile*" and then my dad's all... OBSESSED with my brother playing the sport. "You're gonna kick ass!" "You'll be the fastest guy out there!" "Let's go get your gear, buddy! :D:D:D:D" and I'm all over in the corner feelin' like bags of lead are being dropped on my head with every word he says.

-EMO'D-

Ironically, the only person really rootin' for me is my brother. o_O
... eh. I'm seeing Annie monday, so.. I guess that's somethin' to look forward to about that. And I have nothing else to say really so see yah.

"Seriously, toesocks are pretty much the most awesome item of clothing you could possibly ever wear. They make my toes feel like little explorers bunking down for the night, halfway to Everest's peak. I DON'T JUDGE YOU OKAY."  -- Memlu

... sorry. Just thought that was too priceless to not share.

from here

things i like about myself... i'm:
1. funny: i’m clever, i can make good jokes or witty remarks out of material from an earlier comment or conversation, and i enjoy laughing. i’m attracted to people who have a good sense of humor that can run around and play with my own.

2. creative: i have original ideas and enjoy putting them to use and showing them off.

3. analytical/observant: i can analyze things, especially people (personalities), extremely well. i pay attention to everything around me in order to understand it.

4. introspective: i’m able to look into my own being and my own subconscious and understand what makes me do the things i do, act the way i act, and feel the way i feel. i can go back and figure out who did what that made me think this way, or what trauma i experienced that makes me fear such-and-such.

5. hardworking: people think i’m lazy, but when i dedicate myself to something, i put all my effort into it. and when i’m not doing anything, most times it’s because i’ve already worked hard in order to not have anything left to do.

6. passionate: okay, i’ll admit it, sometimes i go a little over the top, but it’s because i’m very adamant towards the things i like and know.

things i dislike about myself... i'm:
1. moody: i can get into a very sour mood, and sometimes i take it out on other people.

2. envious: it’s extremely easy for me to become jealous of someone else and/or what they have, whether it be of their looks or personality, social status, material possessions, or love interests (whether we share one or i like the one they “own”).

3. dependent: i absolutely loathe the fact that i am so dependent on others. i’ve often explained that not only do i feel i rely on others’ help too often, but i feel i actually serve others at times-- for example, i will wait until someone else does something before i react. it frustrates me to no end that i feel like i’m never the one making the first move, that i’m never the one people have to react to.

4. self-contradictory: i hate that my opinions and personality seem to be constantly changing without any warnings at all.

5. acquiescent: when i’m confronted or disrespected by someone i don’t really have normal encounters with, i tend to just sort of roll over and take whatever they throw at me, and i hate it.

6. vindictive: when i'm on bad terms with someone i hate them with a burning passion and want their lives to become one long series of miserable events. it is possible for me to forgive after a while, but i never forget.

things i'm proud of that i probably shouldn't be... i'm:

1. stubborn: i don’t back down easily from arguments because i do believe that i’m right 90% of the time. i do not respond well to being told what to do, especially if the person ordering me around does so rudely or does it as if they have authority over me and that i have no free will of my own. i don’t like admitting i made mistakes.

2. dogmatic: some people view me as arrogant, and i can agree that sometimes i do act it, but in actuality i’m just a very assertive and confident person when i’m positive of whatever it is i’m being “cocksure” about. (i love that term-- cocksure. haha.)

3. a know-it-all: yeah, i can come off as a smart aleck bitch. most times it’s on purpose because i don’t like you, but i do admit that sometimes sounding so condescending is NOT intentional.

4. critical: it’s irritating to others because sometimes it becomes self-destructive, but i’m proud that i’m able to analyze things and articulate my like or dislike of it.

5. disorganized: i like my “disordered order.” in fact, when i put something where it’s supposed to go, i can’t find it.
6. opinionated: i'm outspoken about my opinion, which can be annoying to a lot of people, but i feel it's important to assert your views and stand up for what you believe in (as geek as that sounds).

Don't you hate it when you have a dream with someone in it, and they're one person throughout the dream, you know it, but their face keeps on changing?

I got a journal from my aunt for Christmas, and I've been writing down my dreams in it and analyzing using the book I got and some internet resources. I don't know what I'll do after highschool and college, but I know that sometime I will be doing something that has to do with psychology simply because it fascinates me so much; and a field I really enjoy (apart from behaviorism and sociology) is dream analysis.

It's extremely interesting to see what you are trying to tell yourself.

"Have you been losing weight? Man, every day you look like a slightly different person-- like you're changing right in front of my eyes into a new and even more beautiful you." -- Sam

I almost cried when she said that to me this morning.

Instead of Winter Formal, I went to an underground concert at a cafe called "The Sip." Had Hornswogglers, Sister Ray, Kill The Kids, and 800 Octane!! YEAH. I got a CD and a shirt afterwards, and I actually moshed a bit on the sidelines of everything. Didn't get seriously hurt, luckily no one did really, but my left foot was probably stepped on 5 times every 4 minutes or something. It's bruised like a mofo, but I dun care. Had a bangin' time. C8

Oh. And I told Hannah I'd post this, and she said I'd forget, so ha! here it is--

Parts of a woman’s body I like best:

1. The stomach. I don’t like rock-hard abs on girls, just a very strong and fit tummy. To me, a lightly chiseled stomach is the sexiest thing a woman can have.

2. Hipbones. I love when they’re sharp and jutting and defined when a girl is lying down.

3. By extension, the slope of skin between the hipbones--that handspan between the pelvis and the curve of the stomach.

4. The back. Shoulder blades and shoulders and the line of the spine, especially when it starts “fading” as it goes down.

5. Eyes. Of course I like them au natural, but I find them especially appealing with just the slightest bit of mascara on the corner top lashes.

6. The calve muscles, and the way they curve especially attracts me.

 

Parts of a man’s body I like best:

1. Very strong jaws. I love the jawline on women as well, but a semi-jutting or broad jawline on a man really gets me excited.

2. The collarbone. Especially its center and wear it meets the shoulders. I also love that tight flesh between the throat and collarbone you see when they turn their heads.

3. Cutlines (the creases that separate a guy’s thighs from his torso). But also the other unnamed creases, too, like between the pectorial muscles and any abs.

4. Speaking of, pecks. Love ‘em firm and strong.

5. Adam’s apples. I like ones that you can plainly see, but not those huge balls that jiggle every time they laugh. The throat area though is a big weakness for me--

6. --This a part, but not necessarily one you see; the voicebox (not to be confused with the voice, though throaty or kind of deep ones get me bad). I just love it when you can rest your head or face against someone’s throat and feel the vibrations against you when they speak.

Just a couple terms I've found that will never cease to make me chuckle like a maniac:

1. u fale D:
2. roflcopter
3. LOLLERSKATES
4. -HURT'D-
5. o rly? (and its replies that follow)
6. CRAWLLLINNGG INNN MY SKIIIIIIINN!!!111!!one
7. hand me my bucket
8. plz to confirm y/n?
9. UR FACE IS NO MORE
10. -keeled ded-
11. ITSA MEA
12. ur durnk loll
13. LAWL
14. wut
15. i see what you did there
16. thiz es srs bizness

(edited 8D)

I did a lot of creative stuff today. Ranted/contemplated in my journal, wrote a song/poem, embroidered some old jeans, picked out my entire wardrobe (including the ice, yo) for the week, and drew two pictures; one that's real big and of CENTAUR/UNICORN PEOPLE HOMG.

And uh, I guess to top the day off, I'll finally jot down some New Year's resolutions:
- Get permit before my 16th birthday...
- ..so I can get my liscence at the end of the year
- Get into prime shape/around 120 pounds by the end of the year and get the measurements I want on my body
- Practice lacrosse every day, even when I don't have practice C8
- Straight A's, babe
- Finish Freshman year (8D;;)
- Possibly get smashed on my 16th birthday? hannah? >_>;
- Go to Club Escape with Hannah (on Halloween)
- other stuff I can't think of right now and will add later, maybe

Oh, Hannah- I'll probably end up tellin' you this tomorrow, but there's news on Cam: Robin says "He is still not awake, but has color to him and is very stable. His blood pressure does continually drop, though, and he has had to be intibated alot."

that's a sugar glider, hannah. remember?: POWDER C8